I am lying on my death bed as a nurse writes this down for me, with the instruction to deliver it to you without my three sons reading it. Attached to this letter is my final will and testament. You may find it concerning that I am not leaving anything to my three sons. You will also find a portable computer hard drive.

Some people are destined to walk in a group, some walk alone. Some lead, some follow, and some wander off.

The one lady told me, “We met here in this bar and I asked to buy her a drink. She replied by saying she wast straight. I told her that so is spaghetti until you get it hot and wet.”