I consider this “stolen” time.
With court papers in hand, I came home with a close friend, to check if this tumor was still here, but the malignant growth had left. It took me weeks to track it down, but I did, and I had the papers served on Tuesday evening at 11:30pm.
Years ago when she was battling she asked to borrow money from me and I declined. Then, when I needed it most she loaned me a car. I still remember the evening I sat in her office and she didn’t ask for much, but I declined. Cold and heartless. And years later, she could help me, and with out even asking her, she offered.
A chair exists but it doesn’t live, it merely takes up space. I now took up space. I was merely an object. My vessel was so empty that I felt nothing. Nothing made me smile and nothing made me cry. Emotional darkness. Dark and cold.
It feels like I was just a sperm donor. In fact the best man at my wedding even warned me and said that once she had had her kids she would toss me away.