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Before you read this diary, be warned, it is heavy, and it is the truth as seen by my eyes. I needed to put my thoughts down as I reached the point of giving up. At the time I started writing, I was ready to run away and reset my life. Points raised in this diary can be backed by actual evidence or witness accounts. If you don’t want to know the truth, do not read any further.


  1. I am not looking for attention. Please do not give me your sympathies. Rather say something constructive and helpful.
  2. Your first comment will be held back for approval. Please do not post it repeatedly or you will be banned. Once your first post is approved, you can post regularly.
  3. Please post comments in English. I don’t care how broken your English is, if your comment is in English it will be welcomed.
  4. No negative comments or flaming. You will be banned.
  5. No posting links, unless it is a link to a site that is related to the post. If you post a link, your comment will be sent to me for review. If it’s appropriate I will approve it. Any other links will result in banning.
  6. If you are going through similar shit in your life, feel free to post about it here. Hopefully we can help each other.
  7. This is not a pity party… this is my deepest inner most thoughts. I am trying to process the fucked up shit in my life, and this is how I have chosen to do it. If you disapprove, do not tell me, rather just fuck off. I don’t care.
  8. You get three log in attempts. If you get your password wrong three times, you will be locked out for 60 minutes. So if you get it wrong twice, please just reset your password.
  9. The rules will change… so fucking stay awake and check this disclaimer often.
  10. ?????????
  11. Profit


I am keeping this online diary for my own purpose. I am not seeking attention or sympathy. If anything, I am seeking empathy. I need to write things down. I need to understand my existence, and hopefully, my words will help someone in my position, before they do something terrible with their life.

Posts on this site are pre-written and scheduled for publications weeks, sometimes, months in advance. So in the event of my death, the site will keep publishing posts every Sunday, for a long while.

Death Post

I have prepared a death post which is scheduled to be published on the 1st day of the month following my demise. I do not intend to kill myself, so don’t worry, it’s not for that reason. So as long as I am alive, it will be moved forward a month at the end of every month.

The purpose of the death post is to say my final goodbyes in case anything happens to me, either by natural or unnatural causes. As such, it is edited frequently.


This site is backed up on a weekly basis, and should it ever be taken down for what ever reason, other than my own choosing, it will be restored on another server under another domain. I have a network of people I trust who will carry this out for me, even in the event of my demise.

Even in death, I will not be silenced.

*The content of this diary is not suitable reading for anyone.